Today has been a good day and a bad day. The good day being I am still very much in control of my eating and continue to lose weight every week, steadily. I also now notice, in photos, that my face is getting a little smaller, I am beginning to see bone structure on occasions and there are not quite so many chins.
Other good things about today have been that I have spent all afternoon moving. Em and I went to Miller Point Peace Park and walked the whole trail. Infact I was rather disappointed it seemed so short and it was over so quickly. This time last year, I attempted to hike the trail with my three children, but I gave up after the second marker as I was so out of shape. I remember the back pain, it was brutal….
After the trail we went to the mall, Em enjoyed an iced coffee and I enjoyed a black tea and we carried our drinks into the book store with us and spent quite a long time browsing our favourite genre’s. Of course I headed straight to the cookbooks… I let my mind wander imagining how wonderful a lottery win would be so I could buy “Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution” and 101 other fabulous cookbooks I was busy salivating over. The assistants looked at me strangely as I took pictures of the books with my trusty iPod..
And another good thing about today, I finally fit into a bra I bought and had never worn before, simply because I could not squeeze my mountain of boob flesh into it. Hell I couldn’t even do the damn thing up..it was physically impossible. But today, just on the off chance miracles happen, I hauled it out (because it’s still a rather hefty bra) and tried it on before heading out. It fitted (with a little back fat over spill) and I nearly collapsed in shock. This particular harness had been collecting dust for 6 years!
So what was bad about today? I know this is pathetic, and really I don’t care that much as I am overwhelmingly happy that my health has increased in huge leaps and bounds, BUT, the word I have to share with you today is WRINKLES…
When I had a much fatter face, when I was 51 lbs heavier than I am today, everything was kind of swollen and filled out. There didn’t appear to be many lines or wrinkles and although I felt 75 due to my weight, I thought my skin had weathered fairly well. But now I’m noticing the wrinkles especially under my eyes. I moisturize and wish they’d go away but I guess they are just now here to stay. I’m kind of feeling sorry for myself that although finally I am making myself happier and healthier, my youth is now a thing of the past. How life passes us by so very quickly..
I’m sure I’ll get over it, accept it and embrace the new maturer me (but in my mind I’m still a care free, happy-go luck 16 year old).
Above all, I’m on a journey to claw back my quality of life so I can begin enjoying it again, so I can walk anywhere, have fun and every week, bit by bit, this is happening. I have a LOT to be very, very grateful for..
Who cares about a few extra wrinkles….
Thanks for listening