Good day- bad day


I’m being honest here…

Today has been a good day and a bad day. The good day being I am still very much in control of my eating and continue to lose weight every week, steadily. I also now notice, in photos, that my face is getting a little smaller, I am beginning to see bone structure on occasions and there are not quite so many chins.

Other good things about today have been that I have spent all afternoon moving. Em and I went to Miller Point Peace Park and walked the whole trail. Infact I was rather disappointed it seemed so short and it was over so quickly. This time last year, I attempted to hike the trail with my three children, but I gave up after the second marker as I was so out of shape.  I remember the back pain, it was brutal….

After the trail we went to the mall, Em enjoyed an iced coffee and I enjoyed a black tea and we carried our drinks into the book store with us and spent quite a long time browsing our favourite genre’s. Of course I headed straight to the cookbooks… I let my mind wander imagining how wonderful a lottery win would be so I could buy “Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution” and 101 other fabulous cookbooks I was busy salivating over. The assistants looked at me strangely as I took pictures of the books with my trusty iPod..

And another good thing about today, I finally fit into a bra I bought and had never worn before, simply because I could not squeeze my mountain of boob flesh into it. Hell I couldn’t even do the damn thing up..it was physically impossible. But today, just on the off chance miracles happen, I hauled it out (because it’s still a rather hefty bra) and tried it on before heading out. It fitted (with a little back fat over spill) and I nearly collapsed in shock. This particular harness had been collecting dust for 6 years!

So what was bad about today? I know this is pathetic, and really I don’t care that much as I am overwhelmingly happy that my health has increased in huge leaps and bounds, BUT, the word I have to share with you today is WRINKLES…

When I had a much fatter face, when I was 51 lbs heavier than I am today, everything was kind of swollen and filled out. There didn’t appear to be many lines or wrinkles and although I felt 75 due to my weight, I thought my skin had weathered fairly well. But now I’m noticing the wrinkles especially under my eyes. I moisturize and wish they’d go away but I guess they are just now here to stay. I’m kind of feeling sorry for myself that although finally I am making myself happier and healthier, my youth is now a thing of the past. How life passes us by so very quickly..

I’m sure I’ll get over it, accept it and embrace the new maturer me (but in my mind I’m still a care free, happy-go luck 16 year old).

Above all, I’m on a journey to claw back my quality of life so I can begin enjoying it again, so I can walk anywhere, have fun and every week, bit by bit, this is happening. I have a LOT to be very, very grateful for..

Who cares about a few extra wrinkles….

Thanks for listening

C xxxxxxx

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10 thoughts on “Good day- bad day

  1. I was thinking looking at the picture at the top how young you were looking – so there!

    I agree about how fast time passes though – just reminds us how much we have to enjoy it while it happens I suppose.

    We will find some nice valley trails for your next visit and we can go and explore.

    (Matthew – certainly in need of an iron)

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  2. People are usually attracted to those who have a happy attitude, are kind and who take the time to show an interest in others. Those three things will compensate for any amount of wrinkles. If there are those who disagree, well…you didn’t want them in your life anyway.

    BTW, you are being much too hard on yourself. You look great and have a nice healthy glow

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  3. Oddly enough, I think you look a lot younger and can’t see any wrinkles at all. No, no compliments, just the truth. Seriously, Carolyn, you do look a lot younger – and happier. You’re smiling now, it’s so lovely to see 🙂

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  4. I agree Moira, i think you look very young and SO much happier. I can’t see the wrinkles either!

    But if they really bother you, look up nanoblur (nanoblur.com). If you can spare $20, it is a reflective cream that makes all the bad stuff on your face disappear. It doesn’t fix them, just reflects them away 🙂 I use it when I’m going on a night out, it gives me a little lift when I’m feeling like a mom who lives in yoga pants and a ponytail (which I am, lol), but it can be used every day as well. They sell it at Shoppers Drug Mart, Rexal Pharmaplus, Lawsons and Walmart in Canada.

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  5. Everyone is right. You look great! And remember, the air is very dry right now. Some of what you’re seeing may disappear in the summer when the air, indoor and out, becomes a bit more humid. I always find my skin looks better in summer.

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    • Thank you everyone…I feel absolutely pathetic moaning about wrinkles!!! I don’t really care that much for them but they are what happens to us – it’s just nothing is it! I’m incredibly lucky in many ways and can’t believe I went and moaned publicly about the natural ageing process!!!

      Forgive me!!!!

      C xxxxxxxxx

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  6. Well, I think you are looking great! I am at the age of getting wrinkles, too, and as someone who as had bad skin forever, it seems I am going straight from pimples to wrinkles!
    When my mother in law was asked by my then four year old twins why her skin was so wrinkly, she told them that each line was from learning something new each day. “You must be REALLY smart, Grandma” was their reply. She is 82 today, and started learning the cello last year!
    Debxx

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  7. I felt the same way as I was losing my weight, Carolyn! First it was the dreaded “turkey neck”. The weight came off my face first and I was left with saggy skin under my chin. However, it DID firm up a bit after a few months, so that was encouraging. But, like you, I see many more wrinkles around my eyes now than I did when I was heavier. I’m 47 so I know there are going to be wrinkles, but I too feel like I look older (even though other people tell me I look years younger with the weight loss – go figure). But you know what? I’m totally off diabetes meds and blood pressure meds now, and to me that is worth any amount of wrinkles! I’ve tried to stop looking so much at the outside shell of myself and concentrate on how much better I feel on the inside. I also try to concentrate on all the things I can do now that I couldn’t do when I was heavier. Take heart – you are doing great!

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