I think the last few times my weight had risen to above 340 lbs was in 2003 and 2005 and around 2007. The biggest I’ve been since then is 325 lbs several times. In 2003 I tipped 350 lbs, my feet swelled horrendously, I didn’t take care of myself as I should, was actually very anxious and depressed and felt ugly and embarrassed to be out. My state of mind now is so different now in contrast even though my journey is a little over halfway done. Losing 100 lbs has made such a huge difference in many aspects of my life. I’ve grown stronger mentally and physically and I love being a single, independent woman.
It sucks a bit leaving it this long to finally be getting things right, wish I’d felt stronger then to do something about it but dealing with it now will mean there is much to look forward to as I lose more weight. Being less limited by my physical size really does have a positive impact on my happiness.
This is an ongoing battle, it will be with me for the rest of my life but every year that passes I feel like I’m getting more control over it.
I am determined to reach my 175 lbs goal ultimately but my biggest goal has to be getting out of the 200’s forever and never returning. This action in itself will have such a positive impact on my health and right now this is what is important to me.
Sending much love to everyone who has struggled long term with morbid and super morbid obesity. There is definitely a precipice, a point when it’s far less painful to carry on gaining love and comfort and being soothed by food than the hell on earth trying to wean yourself off the false love it gives you and face the struggles and unkindness of the real world when you venture outside….
Take care, keep fighting