Trust me, this has taken a LOT of guts to reveal my large and floppy body to the world. Revealing the reality of a 244 lb body ravaged by 3 large babies and 20 years of “not giving a damn” isn’t a pretty site. But whatever you think of me, know that I’m a good and kind person, I won’t judge you and I’d try not to hurt you.
THIS is necessary for me to do as part of my acceptance of the obesity problem I have. An obese person is usually obese for a reason and accepting what we have done to our bodies and no longer hating ourselves as a person for doing it, is part of the healing process. I don’t like looking at my body in the mirror but I am making myself do so to realize that this is just skin and flesh and nothing more. My outside isn’t me…. it’s growing on me, it’s attached to me but you can’t judge me or really know me by the way I look..
Today I feel strong, I did speed walking at the track, I skipped, I did some pilates with a resistance band and for the first time in 20 years I jogged around the garden and tonight my plate was filled with delicious organic vegetables.
A little later on I will enjoy some cocoa from my 1940s cupboard and add it to my almond milk ( a substitute for regular milk as I am vegan), and watch an hour or two of something motivational.
Losing weight and becoming happy and healthy is a long journey. You have to slay demons, kill plateaus, wipe away the sweat and tears and keep climbing that mountain.
I’m halfway up my mountain and I refuse to look back!
So went shopping with the girls in town and stopped off at the track to do walking…
Today I just didn’t want to spend an hour walking around the track as I was pushed for time and also I bought a resistance band and also a speed skip rope in town that I am dying to get home to try out! (I couldn’t find any boxing gloves unfortunately)
BUT instead I thought I’d try and walk as fast as I could in 30 minutes, really push myself and see what I could do. It ended up being 14 laps in 30 minutes which is 2 miles! Every step of the way I felt good, alive, healthy and pain free! I over took people and kept up with a lady 1/2 my size who was over taking people! 6 months ago I could slowly, with difficulty and in pain walk just a few laps..
I soooooo want other larger people like myself, who may have difficulty walking that you REALLY can do something about it and cry, screech and punch the air in a good way….because once you can, you will feel so good, you’ll never go back…. EVER!
This months giveaway is just too awesome for words…..
BUT I have a big problem keeping quiet on my blog so this of course means I just HAVE to gush profusely over this months giveaway which is a “Keep Calm and Carry On” tea-towel. It’s boldly beautiful in post-box red and I REALLY want one- can I enter?
If you would like a chance to win it please leave a short comment below and on April 1st (I’m not joking) I’ll put all your names in a hat and draw one name out at random.
Did I say I really, really want one too?
Keep Calm and Good Luck!
PS: Contest is open to ANYONE ANYWHERE in the world…
Februarys Replica Ration Book Giveaway Winners were:
2 tablespoons of gravy (I actually used 4 tablespoons of leftover thick lentil gravy)
2 chopped tomatoes (optional – I didn’t use)
2 tablespoons of Worcestershire sauce (optional – I didn’t use)
salt and pepper
reconstituted dried egg or milk to glaze
Pre-heat the oven to 200 C (400 F) and grease a baking tray
Roll out the pastry and form into 4-6 rounds brushing the edges with a little egg or water
Mix the ingredients and gravy etc together and put in the centre of each round or to one side depending on where you intend to have the seam
Bring edges together and press between finger and thumb along the seam to seal
Make a slit of prick with a fork and brush with egg or milk
Place on baking tray and cook for 20-30 minutes until golden brown
CAROLYN’S TIP: Wheatmeal shortcrust pastry can look a bit grey! Take a pinch of curry powder and mix with a few tablespoons of milk or your egg mixture and brush over the pasty to give it a lovely golden glow
I would just like you to know something about me… I am capable of killing.
This week I methodically and calmly assassinated someone who has been slowly trying to kill me for 20 years. I feel my actions are justified…
PLATEAU is dead (I’ve been stalked by PLATEAU this time for 3 weeks now) …. the fatal blow was delivered at 10 am this morning when I stood on the doctors scales at work and I happily discovered a weekly weight loss of 4 lbs.
Start weight Oct 1, 2011: 299 lbs
Weight last week: 248 lbs
Weight this week: 244 lbs
TOTAL loss this week: -4 lbs
TOTAL weight loss: 55 lbs
I’m now 45 lbs from goal (which is to lose 100 lbs in one year)…
Today I am smiling 🙂
PS: Just realized something.. today I am exactly 100 lbs down from my heaviest weight ever which was 345 lbs
I really feel like there will be no weight loss when I weigh in on Thursday morning…
People have been telling me I’m eating too little so I’ve tried to eat more but I just don’t feel like I am losing. Tomorrow will tell if the scales have shifted at all. I didn’t exercise yesterday- it was too crazy BUT I’ve done a lot of exercise throughout the week especially working in the garden on Saturday.
If there is little or no shift tomorrow I’ll be making a move to reduce my intake by around 400 calories per day for one week and see what happens. Up until now, these past 6 months, I’ve pretty much eaten what I’ve wanted as long as it is contained within my “rations” ..
Here was yesterdays food and exercise..
Breakfast (350 cals)
1/2 dry cup of organic oatmeal (porridge) cooked in water
1 tablespoon of flax seed
Lunch (700 cals)
Chopped potato (skins on) and parsnip cooked with margarine dotted over (vegan)
I spent well over 4 hours in the garden yesterday clearing up debris, digging, moving things about with my wheelbarrow and generally being very busy… It was good to be so physically active and also find out that I had many useful combatant weapons, such as a chainsaw, in my barn, should the “Zombie Apocalypse” ever find it’s way to rural Nova Scotia…
Unfortunately today I feel like I have been run over by Hannibal’s War Elephants. I guess this means I was using muscles I hadn’t used for a very long time, or, I was indeed fighting the living dead in my sleep…
I think the latter highly unlikely. Twenty-five years ago, I may have been a Self Loading Rifle markswoman, (a useful skill in Zombie annihilation) but today, I’d be more likely to sit the Zombie down, hold his hand and ask if there was anything troubling him and tell him to take deep breaths and visualize a meatless alternative…
So here’s todays food..
Breakfast (600 cals)
Wholewheat pancakes with golden syrup
Sunflower & flax seeds
Lunch (500 cals)
Marmite on toast (with margarine)
Handful of dates
Dinner (1000 cals)
Two substantial vegetable pasties (recipe coming later)
1 cup of almond milk ( 50 cals)
Exercise (300 cals)
1 hour house cleaning including a little yard work