A big blip and a journey



VIDEO- Chillin this evening sat in my car overlooking harbour in Mahone Bay

So although I have continued to cook 1940s meals here and there, the 1940s experiment fell by the wayside early this year for a number of reasons..

To help myself and anyone else who is new to my blog or skim reads it, try and understand that I am not a total flake, guess I should start at the beginning…

In January 2009 my marriage broke down. We had known each other 25 years and had been married 23 years. Although things had been strained for a while and his decision to leave wasn’t totally unexpected, it was however quite a shock. We have remained on good terms, however, the first 6 months were an enormous emotional strain on the children & I. After my commitment to a volunteer role was over end of July in 2009, I decided to throw myself into a social experiment and become all consumed by it….. this would address two problems, my obesity and keeping myself busy.

The first 4 months of this second attempt at living on a purely wartime rationing diet were VERY successful. I felt fabulous, I dropped tons of weight and the preoccupation with this way of eating kept my mind busy..

Christmas came and went… the first Christmas alone with the children. We had a nice time but that was when the loneliness began to creep in. Although my life was busy with work, children and blogging it would be nice to feel the comfort of a man- someone more than a friend. I couldn’t ever imagine myself opening my heart and home to someone for quite sometime however it would be nice to think about the odd date once the snow disappeared.
The loneliness began to pre-occupy me, began to feel lost and consequently my focus on my social experiment took a back seat especially as in March 2010 my volunteer role as fundraiser, publicity and website coordinator with the http://www.mahonebayregatta.ca began to take up more of my time.

The weight began to pile on as I began to eat MODERN food again- how quickly that weight goes on….

And then I began speaking to a nice guy called M. We became virtual friends and built up quite a bond and decided to meet. We hit it off and had the longest first date of my entire life- 14 hours! Despite the distance and my misgivings about allowing a man in my life, we kept in contact daily by e-mail and eventually by telephone every night. We gave each other friendship and companionship. Oh and did I say that we also did some real fun road trips?

M and I met up as often as we could but with my children, work & volunteer commitments it didn’t happen very often. After three awesome and happy months we talked as we always did, very frankly and truthfully and agreed mutually that come winter ย the relationship would become very frustrating and impossible with the added difficulty of snow. After three fun months we called it quits before we invested more emotions in something that probably was doomed to begin with…… This was two days ago.

“M” gave me so many things that I had recently been deprived of in my life, I will always remember our time together with huge affection- will never forget him…. xxx

So now I return to focusing on getting myself into shape. Dropping 150 lbs and living longer. I’d like to set an example to my youngest daughter Emily..

I look forward to returning to the 1940s Experiment

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16 thoughts on “A big blip and a journey

  1. Hi Carolyn,
    I’m sorry it didn’t work out with your friend. Love will happen again soon for you, you are a bright and wonderful woman.

    I don’t know about you, but I think I have a hard time with food and exercise because I’m sad a lot and eating is not just for fuel, but it makes me feel good. Exercise isn’t always a fun thing, when you are sad, it feels like work. So for me, anyway, it is always a struggle.

    I’m glad you are back to your blog. Hopefully getting back to writing will help you get back on track. Just remember that we are all out here to cheer you on with your expermiment!!

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  2. Thank you sooooo much Mimi- it is always very hard to come back and tell people how you failed. BUT the only way to succeed in the end is to keep on trying and don’t give up…

    3rd time lucky maybe?

    Appreciate you leaving a note xxxxxxxxx

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  3. I’m there with you. I lost over 40 pounds on WW and I have gained over half of it back over the past year. I’m back at the exercise thing but the eating part is where I am failing. So… you are not alone!!

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  4. Hi Carolyn.

    You are such a strong, courageous and lovely person and so inspiring. You certainly have not failed and never will because you will always pick yourself up and go further forward.

    Here’s to new relationships having fun and feeling fabulous again – I am sure all the hobbits will always be proud and inspired by you

    Big Hugs XXXXX

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  5. Hey Pat thank you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    I am not wanting another relationship- am sad the last one came to it’s inevitable conclusion- that has proofed to me that the time just isn’t right..

    One day things will be different just not at the moment..

    I am wondering whether 44 is too old for further education- have a burning desire to follow a particular career but that could take years at university!!!!!

    Thank you for your VERY kind words- you have made me feel real nice and warm!!! xxx

    Thank you xxxxxxxxxxxxx

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  6. Hey Carolyn,
    Great to see you back on track and glad to hear you had a bit of companionship over the last few months…sorry it didnt work out. Sometimes we have to work through other issues to get back on track with weight loss and it sounds like you have been able to do that.
    I was wanting to keep up to date with your blog and wondered if there is a way to do it so i can see when you have made a new entry? Do you have a subscribe button somewhere?
    Good luck with the experiment…looking forward to reading about your progress and recipes ๐Ÿ™‚

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    • Hey thanks for leaving a comment and wishing me well- too kind!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

      You are so right about the issues – these are bound to have an effect to some degree and can manifest themselves with a change in appetite with people who express/comfort themselves through food!!!!

      C xx

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  7. Hi, Carolyn! Lovely to see you back. I’ve missed you!

    Thanks for your honesty, but you are not a failure. And, at 44, you are exactly the right age to follow your “burning desire”; and if that means years at university, I know you’ve got the guts to do it!

    Congrats on picking up the experiment again!

    Cynthia

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  8. Hi there.

    You are never ever too old for a new career – go for it as soon as it is feasible. Curious to know what you would study – wondering if it’s to do with the media ?

    XXXXXXXXXXXXPat

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    • Hey Pat- it is kind of but not directly. Have always been very interested in psychology in particular humanistic psychology as feel that most people do have the power to psychologically heal themselves with guidance, realization & empathy although of course this would not work with everyone. I like the thought of being involved in this process clinically rather than studying psychology to be a teacher…. however dare I say this but I almost feel that we need to move forward to a new wave of psychologists and theories that reflect modern society. The media bit is I am OBSESSED with social media- in the fact how people communicate, form groups, however social media like Facebook is frequently used in a theraputic way- ie people reach out to friends, virtual friends and strangers unburdening their problems (I do frequently!)- does this psychologically benefit the person doing this, does social media have a negative effect on people, does it hinder people to people communications, what are the benefits of our modern way of communicating?

      I LOVE this stage of our technological times- it is a fascinating period to be part of (even though I hark back to simple times)…. where are we moving too globally. Now more than ever we are all neighbours..

      I don’t know if I’d ever be able to follow that dream- at the very least would like to continue to study just from a hobby perspective – I think people are very interesting- each and everyone of us has some sort of story to tell whether we are aware of doing so or not..

      Hey Pat it would be REALLY nice to finally know what one wants out of life wouldn’t it???!! Hehehe

      How are you doing these days? Are you still practicing Reiki?

      C xx

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  9. Hi Carolyn,

    have only recently found your blog & have been reading about your journey. Love your style, cant wait to hear the latest. Good luck! =)

    Cat

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  10. Hi C,

    Wow,
    . Have you considered doing some distance learning such as an Open Uni course.
    I too have a strong belief that people can psychologically heal/damage themselves.When I first started learning Reiki I read a lot of Louise Hays Books (Heal Your Life / The Power is Within You /Heal Your Body / I Think,I Am ) A bit basic but interesting concepts. I still use Reiki on myself and family but Doha is not the place to practise generally.
    When Giles retires – hopefully within the next couple of years (he’s 65 now) and we come back to the UK – I’ll join some groups .A local clinic very close to where we live has asked me to teach/practise.However, I harbour a desire to take up counselling so I may do something like a Relate course. I can’t imagine not doing anything and being housebound .
    Matthew went back to Uni 2 years ago to study mental health and once he graduates is thinking of going to work in Vancouver for a couple of years or so. Apparently Canada has the most advanced mental health programmes.
    You are so right about the need to progress psychology to reflect this era. I could go on forever……….
    I’m in the UK at the moment until mid September – it’s great to escape the heat.

    Look forward to more recipes
    Be well XXXXXXXX

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  11. have only just come across your blog have been sat reading it for a few days now and i think your amazing to come this far keep going chick u can do it ๐Ÿ™‚
    My world broke down in January 2009 aswell its so hard when kids are involved think i fell apart for 8 months the fight still going ( 4 years in and out if court continues)
    I am interested in doing this i want to go back to the way i was before the kids am in middle of doing some research on it.
    from caroline

    Like

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