No 40’s Christmas here.
The last couple of months, after a good initial start and very good intentions disintegrated into just letting myself go completely. It’s been the same story over and over all my life. I’m sure it will happen often, it’s never going to stop, it’s just making changes again before I’m back up to the 300’s and working my way down until I get to a healthier place again.
Not going to dwell on this.
December 27th will be the day I start again…. I’m used to picking myself off the floor. I’ve been in far worse places.
I’ve also been planning in different areas of my life for not only a healthier but a prosperous 2018. I’ll post again on New Years eve with my year plan (which has taken the form of several large sheets of notes and crossings out) and I really hope you’ll join me and we can work on our planning and prepping together and share our successes.
I just wanted to really send a BIG hug and lots of love to everyone who has stuck by my blog even through my quiet times when I need to just disappear. I do read all the comments even if I appear to be a little anti-social. It’s more of a case of my life being incredibly busy, getting older, getting fatter and feeling really tired as a consequence. I do a LOT of thinking on a daily basis, deep thinking, going to bed at 7 pm for me is quite normal, I’ll do some research, read people’s life experiences, and then just stare into space and think, maybe for an hour, maybe more…. and then it’s 9 pm and time for lights out to try and get near 8 hrs of sleep.
I’ve been questioning what makes me happy….
This year, especially the later half at work has made me happy. I feed off people, I love their mannerisms, their quirks, their emotions, I love it when people smile and laugh and people never cease to amaze me. We are so complex, so good, so bad, so utterly unique, each and every one of us.
I’ve been pondering how time never stands still now, I feel like once I started to notice that time was moving along rather swiftly, it’s inertia now ensures that it keeps on getting faster and as my mass and age gets larger, the speed of time increases. I am sure there will be a Sir Isacc Newton out there who will come up with an equation that succinctly establishes this thought as reality. Time speeds up, our lives pass by quicker. More reason to fill it with things you love doing if you can.
Christmas is a time for me that I feel the most important things in life emerge. What do we look forward to most? For me it’s being with my family, giving, and loving. I love my family but I’m not sure I’ll ever be IN LOVE again with anyone. I’ve so much love to give but I feel safer holding back. I finally have come to realize that I feel happy on my own. I like feeling FREE to spread my wings, and be a free spirit without hindrance. I’m not afraid of being lonely…
Merry Christmas and much love and happiness.