At 2 am this morning, as I walked bleary eyed through the kitchen to get to the bathroom, I picked up a spoon and furtively shoved two large heaped spoons of Nutella into my mouth. I have no idea why I did it (except that it tasted good and it was naughty) and mentally chastised myself afterwards. And then I thought stop being stupid, it’s just Nutella, I’ve not hurt someone or been mean, all I’ve done is succumbed to temptation and with that decided not to do it again.
They wouldn’t have had to battle against the lure of Nutella in the 1940s because no one would have had this wonderfully evil substance in their cupboard!
So setting aside my noctural adventures, I’ve eaten quite well again today. My eating habits over the past few months have overall been pretty good, and with the fact that I don’t smoke and apart from one evening with a few large drams of whisky, there’s been no alcohol for months either, when at work today I had the opportunity to have my blood pressure taken, I jumped at the chance hoping to be pleasantly surprised…
It was 178/90..
Now being an ex-nurse I know that’s not very good. What I had completely forgotten about was the fact that just a few minutes prior to having my blood pressure done I had been walking about briskly on the factory floor and running upstairs (because I can do that now!!! Woo Hoo!) and that the systolic reading (top number) normally rises during and after exercise, stress, meals, coffee etc (temporarily) I also forgot about the fact that I am taking steroids to get over my allergy flare ups, which are notorious for raising blood pressure.
Just seeing those numbers I panicked. I thought hell I know I am OBESE (I hate that word!!) but I eat well, exercise regularly, don’t smoke, drink little, normally take no meds, eat TONS of vegetables, don’t eat meat, try and keep the sodium down and processed foods, and have given up cheese and chocolate (oh apart from Nutella at 2 am). How can that be right?
I seriously thought for just a fleeting moment to chuck it all in and bury my face in the saltiest snacks known to man-kind (and finish it up with a 2 litre bucket of Ben & Jerry’s).
I was so upset internally that at the end of my 1 point something hour commute home I went straight to the pharmacy and bought myself a blood-pressure unit and took two separate readings in the ASDA car-park, right there and then.
135/69 followed by 124/71
And then I got home and did it again, similar, nothing to worry about.
And then I remembered that I hadn’t rested before my B/P reading at work…
So I’ll still keep checking, still keep being healthy and will get checked out on September 23rd where I am going in for a health-check.
I’m now a little less frightened and a bit more optimistic…but I’m NOT going to be complacent.
DAILY FOOD DIARY
Weigh-In: 272.4 lbs (- 6oz in total in 3 days)
Breakfast: 50 dry grams of porridge oats made with 200 ml of soy milk and handful of blueberries (300 cals – 12 g protein)
Lunch: Two bread rolls spread with margarine and filled with cucumber and tomatoes on the side. (400 cals – 12 g protein)
Snacks: 2 small apples, and some mints (225 cals – protein 1 g)
Dinner: Large vegetable stew with lots of leafy green veg, broccoli, leeks, carrots and tomatoes, kidney beans, herbs and spices and bisto (450 cals – 20 g of protein)
SECRET EATING: 2 large spoonfuls of Nutella in the early hours of the morning because I have to walk through the kitchen to get to the bathroom. (400 cals – 3 g of protein)
TOTAL CALORIES 1775 ish – Protein 48 g ish
Do not ever give up. Do not ever give in to that voice in the back of your mind that says what is the point. Keep going.
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I will do Holly!!! xxxx
Oh I know the evil Nutella! I no longer buy it or have it in the house. Can’t eat it if it ain’t there.
Wow! You are way too hard on yourself! Do what you can do, when you can do it. Keep that nasty comment from months ago out of your head. You can only do your best, and your best will change. 🙂
I envy you Carolyn, my blood pressure is my greatest enemy at the moment. Well, that and a partiality to a few too many scotches at the end of a day dealing with the people I work with…..I am about to make the meat substitute mince you did yesterday. It looked soooo good. It’s only breakfast time here, but I’m in a hurry for dinner. May have to have a mid day dinner and eat light for supper.
So good to see regular posts from you again Carolyn! I love reading your food diaries and wish you all the best with you current goals. You can do it!
Thank you Rebecca, I enjoy just waffling on, it’s therapeutic. Thanks for your support xxxx