I’ve always avoided the side photos, I carry all my weight out front looking like I’m 9 months pregnant. I have to face my demons and show you…
For those who have just fallen upon my blog my story is of a woman who eats for comfort, I love food, everything about it, it excites me but it’s been killing me..
At my heaviest I’ve been 345 lbs ( 24 st 9 lbs) and in October 2012 I weighed in at 219 lbs (15 st 9 lbs) having lost 80 lbs ( 5 st 10 lbs) in one year, living every day on wartime rations, re-creating an authentic recipe for every 1 lb I lost along the way.
Towards the end of 2012 many things came to try us. I couldn’t work in Canada (long story) where we were living at the time and suddenly we were thrown into trying to survive in a country without money or healthcare because we needed to remain for emotional reasons (the children’s father and my ex-husband had terminal colon/lung/liver cancer). We fought to stay until David passed away in April, then sold our house for half it’s value so we could return to England, pay off our debts and start again.
We returned to the UK 3 months ago with 22 small boxes, that was our life, all of it..
The stress of the past year has taken it’s toll, I’ve been battling with my food addiction and although generally eating quite healthily (I’m also vegan and eat LOADS of veggies) I’ve eaten too much of the things I should be limiting. My weight has been creeping back on, especially these past 4 or 5 months.
My 1940s style, little red dress which will fit me one day..
I’ve weighed in this morning and I weigh 282 lbs (20 st 2 lbs) so you can see a lot of weight has crept back on.
Keeping weight off (and losing it) needs consistent hard work and perseverance. I let my daily exercising fall by the wayside and I began to eat second platefuls of all the delicious 1940s meals I’ve been cooking, it’s comforting you see…
I bought a little red 1940s style dress not so long ago, a dress I intend to fit into one day. I can squeeze myself into it but its busting at the seams. It shows off all my bulges, my obesity so I have decided that every time I lose 1 stone, I’ll take a photo wearing the dress with the hope that several months from now it will fit me and I’ll look good in it (and even wear high-heeled shoes)
My intentions are to lose 100 lbs in 1 year starting today and to feel beautiful on the outside as well as the inside.
Thank you for being here through all my ups and downs, I do so appreciate it.
“To succeed, one must rise up from every fall and persevere…”
C xxxxx
I have my little red dress hanging on my wall in my bedroom so its the first thing I see in the morning and last thing at night..
Thank you for sharing. I admire your candor and honesty. I struggle with weight issues, as well, so I know how you feel. Love your blog!
Huge big supportive hug.
I am so impressed by all that you have achieved in the face of such emotional/financial turmoil. I am not surprised that some of the weight has crept back – but you WILL get into that lovely dress soon. You are one Very Determined Lady, and there are lots of us out here in Blogland willing you on to Victory! [but I should warn you, my weight issues only started when I moved to the East Midlands. they have some great food round here!!]
Autumn Blessings xx
Huge congratulations on your hard work so far – your weight loss is a tremendous achievement, especially given the circumstances. This is a really inspirational blog and I really enjoy following your progress. Good luck with the rest of the year! xxx
Just found your blog. Wishng you well. Keep up the good work.
Don’t let the weight define the beauty of you or your dress. We all have “demons” we see long before others. The beauty is your are happy, healthy and living; – rock the red dress – it is beautiful!
Hi carolyn, i have been following your blog for a couple of years now and know how hard it has been for you, but I know you have lost weight before on rations and can do it again, you will look stunning in the red dress before you know it. love and hugs , the place family. xx
This is a really motivational post. I know you’ll get to where you want to be Carolyn, you’re too determined not to! Best wishes.
New day, New start! Good for you Carolyn ….big hug! Xx
You have been through a huge upheaval with one thing and another. I can quite understand your desire to comfort eat. I always over eat when stressed. You need a period of calm so that you can kick start your healthy eating. You know that you can do it and succeed because you have shown you can do it and lose loads of weight. Carolyn, you have a great pair of legs and a pretty face. Focus on those things. Be positive. Read books on the law of attraction and you will get back on track. You will be a stunner in that little red dress. Go girl…!
Well done and thank you for being honest- sharing not just the highs but also the not so good in your life. You’ve had a set back recently but I’m sure you have the will to succeed again.
I love your blog and wish you lots of luck in your journey. You deserve it xx
OK so that’s the past, now comes the future. At least your start weight this time is not as high as it was last time. So, that gives you a good incentive.
I try to only make what i’m going to have for one portion. You may have already tried this but I find it really helps as there is no temptation to “just have a little bit more”.
Good luck on your very special journey.
Oh, and drink loads of water. Running to the loo every 5 minutes will help to burn fat as well!!
I too have had to shed weight. Some good tips that were given to me were
1. Use as little fat as possible.
2. Use a smaller plate.
3. No seconds!
your tum will shrink and you will feel very smug!
I just wanted to say hi you have been such a inspiration to me I’ve been following you for about a year and often go look at you pages to keep me going like you I’ve just started again as I lost my path but think I’ve found it again I also have a dress on the wall that I want to wear but doesn’t fit just yet keep fighting Hun you can do this and I think your amazing just thought I would let you know how much you have helped me take care M xxx
Well, it has happened. For several years now I have read your posts and thought of you as a ‘sister under the skin’ we share several interests, stengths and weaknesses. As you weighed in I did too and the numbers match 282 and 282 so as you begin again on your side of the pond I will begin again on this side. Good luck to us both
That dress is like having a vision board (which is what I have) and I love it. I love that you have a positive goal to work towards and I can imagine what a struggle it can be to maintain your weight but keep on doing what you are doing-you are inspirational! xox
Not at all suprised by your weight gain, you have been under so much stress this past year. I know you have the will power to get it back under control. I also have a weight problem (almost 19 stone), however I now have gall stone problems and have to eat low fat now. Lost 7lbs this month. It’s hard as I love baking and I need all my will power not to sample my finished goodies!!
I don’t know if this will be any useful to you but anyways I’m going to tell you in case it may help.
When people eat a special diet, I was paleo and you are vegan, they often tend to think that anything is ok as long as it is made with the right ingredients. Often it’s not even concious thinking, you know the ingredients are ok so it cannot hurt but actually it can.
The truth is cake is cake, even if it is made with the right ingredients. It’s still a treat and not ‘regular’ food. I say this because I used to bake a lot with paleo ingredients but that caused me to stall weight loss.
Personally I enjoyed your food diary on here and would love to see more of it, if you found that helpful and ever wanted to keep that up.
I was talking to a friend who used to sell vintage crockery at markets etc. she told me that what we use nowadays as a dinner plate is significantly bigger than in the 1940’s. They started making them 1″ to 2″ larger in diameter during the 50’s and 60’s. How about getting some dinner plates to match, or mis-match, your tea cups & saucers? Worth a try, should be very cheap in charity shops/car boot sales as it’s the cups & saucers people tend to want.
Good luck m’dear! The dress is fabulous btw! Xx
That’s very interesting about the plate sizes. I think they’ve gone up again in the past 5 to 10 years as well. Along with glass and mug sizes. Using smaller crocks sounds like an excellent idea. I only ever buy cream crockery for every day use so when it breaks I can replace it with whatever is in the shops at the time. I still have a couple of dinner plates that I bought 20 years ago, in the collection, and yes, they are clearly much smaller than more recent purchases.
I am another who has comforted, companioned and medicated myself with food in the past. You have had a very stressful year so it is not surprising that you used food to help you cope. Better than turning to a lot of other things!!
I also carried my weight up front. Sugar and simple carbohydrates are the worst for this so if you stick to only the natural sugars (like what is in fruit) and use whole grains it will help you to lose the stomach weight.
Walking is the best exercise when you are losing weight. I walked all mine off.
One thing that I learned was that you do not break bad habits. You replace them with good ones. With rationing you actually get your bad habits replaced with good ones! I think that is why it can be a very successful weight program.
I know this sounds crazy but it does work. When you feel very stressed and want to eat or have a second helping go ahead BUT first wait 20 minutes. Most urges pass in that time. Go and do something else. If it does not pass put half of what you want to eat back in the fridge or on the compost pile. This simple exercise is a way of showing control over your desire to use food as a comfort.
I know that you will succeed and be in that pretty red dress.
A red dress for Christmas will look fab, you just have to wear it! With the red lipstick of course. 🙂 I’m still keeping my diet diary which counts calories, it is helping loads, as even if I go over the 1200 calories It gave me, I input the food. Sometimes it’s only 100 calories or so, not so bad. I used to feel so guilty about not sticking rigidly to the diet, I would just come off the diet, but now I feel in charge. We are all rooting for you xxx
Wishing all the best I will,follow you with great interest ,I’m going to try myself but don’t have the courage to post it on the web
hello Caroline, just wanted to say be gentle on yourself as well as firm in intent and I’m sure you will find you are able to not only to lose the weight but achieve the weight you feel is healthy and good for you with changes of lifestyle that will continue in to this new life you are building..I will not wish you good luck as this as nothing to do with luck but hard work, self discipline and lots and lots of laughter plus of course that red dress:0)
No matter how long it takes, you are always an inspiration. I have my own weight issues, and have dramatically decreased my exercise as well. And did I say I also love to cook. So I am back on the Ration Diet myself. Thanks for keeping us all inpsired.
Thank you for posting this right when I needed it! I weighed in this morning at the heaviest in my life (226.4 lbs) I’m vegetarian and have had issues the past few years , but nothing like the major life changes you’re dealing with. Everytime I have a set back, I seem to stop measuring and weighing and the lost pounds find their way home again. Thank you for reminding me that I am not alone with this problem and finding an interesting and fun way to win this battle.
What a great idea, having the dress hanging up next to you. I really admire your determination, your pluck and fortitude(a line from housewife 49!) Well done, we are with you! xx
Dear Carolyn, I love your candour and bravery and the red dress! Like you I battle with emotional eating and it will be an ongoing issue.
I’ve broken my weight loss into small sections so that I’m not so daunted. I have to say that my aim is rather shallow – I don’t want to be the fat, frumpy mum beside the pool on holiday next year.
The last year has been such a roller coaster for you and your family, but your positive tilt at life has got you through and I have no doubt that it will be this same attitude that will see you succeed!
All the best
Daisymay
It’s no wonder, after all you’ve been through. Few people would get through all that unscathed. I love your optimism though – it really is inspiring. And I love that red dress! I’ve got to get one like it because it really does look good on you already. Dressing cleverly can make such a difference. It’s not cheating – it’s motivating.
Carolyn,
You are such an inspiration to us all…..whether you are succeeding, or struggling, you just keep at it, and I believe that is the true mark of success. You will OWN that dress!
Hugs!
Take care to nourish yourself – body, mind and spirit – with wholesome and beautiful things. You are doing well. And look at how many people understand and care 🙂 Carry on. xxx
Look forward to reading through your archives to catch up on your story over the next while. I’m in the same boat – while searching for something else yesterday evening I actually found my very first WW card, from way back when I was 17 – I started at 95kg (209.5lbs), oh how I wish I “only” weighed that much now. I’m doing something similar with the photo idea and actually paid for a proper session with a photographer (40 euro plus 33 for the three photos I got so didn’t completely break the bank) in June, having started trying to really get my eating under control a few weeks before. Since then, I’ve been going back every month to have photos taken in the same poses by the guy who owns the shop (he normally just does passport photos and lets “real” photographers use the studio as needed), which is costing me 15 for three photos every month. I decided that although it’s an additional expense, it’s what’s working to motivate me at the moment so I’ll stick with it. It’s slow going but the photos from the beginning of September finally started to show some difference. Pity September then turned into such a horrible month with any control out the window for a couple of weeks. Trying hard to get back to it now, that last few kilos I’d put on were the ones that started to make my knees ache going up stairs and I’m very glad to be rid of them and don’t want any more of them back.