I went out last night. It was the first proper sit down meal and dance I’d been to for many, many years… to mark the occasion I wore a skirt (apart from when I’ve dressed as a pirate I haven’t worn a skirt for 15 years).

The Best Western Plus served an awesome meal. My meat eating colleagues had plates laden with their festive main course (it was a late Christmas party) and the chef had prepared a separate vegan dish for me….pasta and fresh vegetables in a thin curry/fresh herb sauce (not exactly 1940s but it would not have been fair to send that challenge to the kitchen- I’m not that evil!!). It was moist-makingly delicious …

The conversation for two hours over dinner was such fun.

But then I came home, and that insidious thing called loneliness crept up on me. I wished there was someone who would put their arm around me and listen to my stories. That can be difficult..

But this morning I found this in my inbox…it had come from a far and distant land…

“At the innermost core of all loneliness is a deep and powerful yearning for union with one’s lost self.”

– Brendan Francis Behan

“Aren’t you mid way through that journey Carolyn?  Getting the old you back”…?

It resonated with me… and in one simple moment turned around the self-destructive thoughts. It is amazing how a few words of wisdom and the kindliness of one single person can make such a difference.

Today I bake…